A Portland misty morning greeted us as we tried to get motivated early this morning. Leaving was harder than I anticipated. Not only because I have a sore throat and got no sleep, but just because leaving here is always hard. Every time I spend more than 5 days around home, I start considering moving back. Now it has a whole different feel though. The layer of guilt I have for being drawn back here now that my dad isn't here anymore is thick. It sucks to think about living here without him. I feel like I abandon him almost 10 years ago when I moved to New York, and now I feel like I'm ditching out on my mom for a second time. I don't even know if I want to be in New York anymore, but now I've missed the window with getting to spend time with my dad. I wish I had the chance to hangout with him as the person I've now grown into being. We could have made so much cool shit together.
There's more than my blood family pulling at me to come back. There's also my chosen family. Two of which are traveling with me right now. Kelley, my best girl, is doing a ride along for a little over a week. She's been with me through some major roller coaster parts of my life, and I think it was just meant to be she could be with me for this one. Yoro is following along caravan style for 3 days on his way to California. He's been working on the van with me since the beginning and I'm not sure what I would do without him. For more reasons that his van knowledge, that is. They both made today awesome. Leaving these two, and all the others that have just been so open and loving to me, well, always really, but even more so during this time home, is breaking my heart.
None of us are in a hurry, and we only planned to drive for around 5 hours anyway, so we took our time. The van is not giving much of a choice anyway...he tops out at about 60! (Exhaust is leaking from somewhere, and the starter is seeming to be a little worn, but he's still a runner!) Clementine has found her happy place and has been snuggled in fluffy blankets for miles, with the hum of the engine lulling her to sleep.
The Oregon coast is so beautiful, the road was so winding, and the tunes were 70's rock. We are in our own little time warp here!
